Women Up Wednesday: The Feminine Art of Getting What you Want Without Force

Have you ever tried to force something and it just would not work out? Well, if you do not feel embarrassed, you are not the first, and you definitely will not be the last. But we are not here to talk about forcing things. We are here to talk about how to get what you want with ease. The most powerful women do not raise their voice. They raise their value.

Throughout history, people have associated feminine things with being weak. For example, when people say “don’t be a p*ssy,” why must we associate the female anatomy with weakness? In reality, feminine power is not about weakness. It is about alignment, strategy, and emotional intelligence.

A huge mistake that causes women to lose their feminine power is a lack of self-control. When you stop being in control of your own emotions, you open up space for other people to dictate how you react to things. Never let anyone see you all worked up. We cannot control how people treat us, but we can always control our reactions.

Never lower your prices for anyone. If anything, you should raise them. Just like the economy, yesterday's price is not today’s price. I see so many women with high standards lowering them just because they have not gotten what they want yet or have not found someone to meet them. Imagine if the person who invented the car thought, “This is hard,” and never did it. We would probably still travel by horse and carriage. Keeping your standards high protects you from people and experiences that were never meant for you in the first place.

Control the room with presence, not pressure. Presence makes people respect you and want to give you what you want without you ever having to ask twice. I like to do this by letting my presence speak for me. Next time you find yourself in a meeting or conversation, take your time responding. Really sit and think about what you want to say and how you want to make others feel with your words.

Something women do way too often, and I am even guilty myself, is over-explaining. You made a mistake? Correct it and move on. Do not waste your breath going into detail about how you are so dumb or how you never do anything right. Not only does it make you look unsure of yourself, but it also makes people want to avoid you because you make everything bigger than it is.

This next tip goes hand in hand with letting your presence do the talking. Something I recently started doing is letting other people feel the silence. You are not the awkward police. Take a break from carrying the conversation and let the other person put in the work.

Now you are ready to ask for what you want clearly, then stop talking. I am just kidding. No, but seriously, stop talking. Women often talk themselves out of what they want by over-justifying. Treat everything you are asking for like it is not that big of a deal. Say what you want and let your energy do the rest. And like the famous Kris Jenner said, “If you are hearing no, you are talking to the wrong person.”

Being able to make people want to help you is the real influence. It is not about manipulating people. It is about emotional intelligence. Being kind and optimistic can open many doors. This is why I treat everyone with the same amount of respect. I believe everyone you see on your way up, you will see on your way down. You never know who you will need in the future, so treat everyone the same.

Something people do not do enough of is appreciating people. Every day I ride the same bus to work, and sometimes I get the same bus driver. Whenever I get on, I say hi, and when I get off, I say thanks. One day, I forgot my bus card, and he let me ride for free. You are probably like, “Amere, it is just a free bus ride.” I have seen this man drive past people who were clearly running to the stop. Trust me, kindness is not his strong suit, but because I greet him every time, he lets me slide.

Here is something I wish someone had told me a long time ago. People support women who make them feel valued.

Alignment plays a huge role in all of this. What is meant for you will never miss you. If you cannot get something to work, do not be afraid to walk away and trust alignment. A few months ago, I was working at a grocery store, and I hated it. I quit without another job. I applied to Aritzia. I did not wait for them to call me. I went in person to introduce myself, and just my luck, the hiring manager was there and happy I showed up. I got picked for the job over 20 other candidates. Imagine if I stayed at the grocery store and forced something that did not align. I would probably still be working there today.

After reading this, I hope you walk away with one thing and one thing only. Understand the feminine art of getting what you want. Feminine power is about being grounded, being intentional, knowing your worth, letting the world come to you, and moving with softness but never weakness.

It is Wednesday, so do not forget to women up.