When Your parents cut you off: How to Survive the shock & stay in school

No tuition? No insurance? No problem (kind of). Hey you, you’re probably wondering where I’ve been. Life has thrown me for a loop, but this week’s Messy Monday is for anybody who's ever had their entire life flipped in one conversation. One minute, your parents are promising to help with college, and the next, you’re getting an email saying your tuition hasn’t been paid and your health insurance has been canceled. It’s messy, it’s emotional, and it’s real life. So if you’re sitting there wondering, what do I even do now? Take a breath. Here’s what to do when your parents stop paying for college and cut you off from their benefits.

First, you have to process the shock. Personally, I bend, I don’t break. So yes, I gave my parents a mouthful of my opinion, and I don’t regret a thing. It’s insane to kick your freshly 18-year-old daughter off health insurance or stop paying her tuition. You’re going to feel betrayed, angry, and hopeless. All those emotions are valid. But don’t let temporary feelings lead to permanent decisions, like dropping out. It’s time to hop out of your feelings and get in your bag. Sit down and write a list of all your new expenses—college tuition, housing, insurance, meal plan, and your phone bill. You need to start thinking like a strategist, not a victim.

The next thing you have to do is talk to financial aid as soon as possible. If your parents stopped paying for school, your financial aid office is your best friend. Call or go in person and ask about a dependency override. If your parents refuse to support you, you may be able to qualify as an independent student for FAFSA, which means you could receive more grants or aid. Also ask about emergency grants or hardship funds—many colleges have them, but you have to speak up. Schools want to keep you enrolled, and you’re valuable to them, so use that to your advantage.

Now let’s talk about health insurance for college students. Once you’re kicked off your parents’ plan, you have 60 days to apply for your own coverage through the Affordable Care Act (ACA) or your state’s marketplace. If you have a job, ask if they offer benefits—it’ll come out of your paycheck, but at least you’ll have coverage. If not, look into Medicaid or low-cost campus health clinics. It might not be glamorous, but learning how to manage your own coverage is a major part of becoming financially independent.

After you handle the logistics, it’s time to find your support system. Tell a professor, mentor, or advisor you trust what’s happening—they can connect you to on-campus resources and support services for students in financial hardship. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or lean on your friends for advice or emotional support. And when it comes to your parents, it’s time to set real boundaries and accept that you might have to love them from afar for a while. It’s perfectly normal to outgrow your parents’ support without outgrowing your potential.

Finally, it’s time to boss up financially. Having one job in this economy might not be enough anymore, so you might need a side hustle or part-time gig. Sit down and ask yourself what you’re good at and what people need that you can offer. Maybe it’s freelancing, reselling, tutoring, or creating content. Most importantly, start learning about budgeting, credit, and financial literacy for young adults. No matter what, don’t drop out—you didn’t come this far just to come this far. You have to keep going and rise above the madness. This moment isn’t punishment; it’s your initiation into independence.

Getting cut off isn’t easy, and if you thought it would be, you’re in for a rude awakening. It’s painful, humbling, and stressful, but it’s not the end. Nothing is over until you give up. This will be the point in your life where you learn how to survive on your own. You might not have parental support, but you do have potential—and that’s something no one can ever take from you.